Weight Loss Saboteurs

health ideas
weight loss saboteurs
By Melissa Sperl | 10/25/2002

When Melody started trying to lose weight with Weight Watchers, she found her (also overweight) sweetie to be, well less than supportive.

"He finds [Weight Watchers] to be very threatening to his way of life (eating), since he is addicted to bread and olive oil," says the WeightWatchers.com Community user. "He also listens to 'experts' who say that lots of fat and starch will keep you satisfied, and therefore you'll eat less. I've learned to make light of it ('Yeah, I tried that diet all the way up to my top weight'), but if it gets too bad, I pull out the big gun and say, 'Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm the only one losing weight here.'"

Weight loss is hard enough without conflict from your loved ones. But lots of people report that the husbands, mothers, family and friends they expected to cheer the loudest actually never said a peep. Or worse, they were loudly against the idea of weight loss altogether.

It's enough to slow down your weight loss momentum. In really bad cases, it's even enough to stop you short. What do you do when your should-be supporters are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts?

Help!
When you realize that one of your loved ones is a saboteur (the word we use for a person who, purposefully or not, tries to sabotage our efforts toward a goal), says Dr. Howard Rankin, a Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose (Step Wise Press, 2001), "it helps to stay focused on your goal, and realize that others have their own agendas."

Perhaps they're just plain jealous that you're losing weight. Or maybe they're worried that if you make changes in the way you eat, they'll have to eat differently, too. Another WeightWatchers.com Community user said that was the case with her husband: "He thought I was going to take his treats away from him."

Maybe the saboteur is acting out of fear. The user from above added, "He also used to complain that if I got skinny, I would leave him for somebody else."

Another thing that might be getting in your loved ones' ways of cheering you on is their own habits. Maybe they're used to loving or comforting you with food. Now that you don't want to be loved that way, they feel confused and rejected.

5 Stop-It Steps
It's often perfectly innocent, but sabotage can still make a big difference in your plan. After all, it's hard to hold your resolve when your best friend is pouting because you won't go out for pizza, or when your mother puts your favorite, high-POINTS dessert in front of you ("Just one piece can't hurt, can it?").

With Rankin's help, we figured out some things you can do if you fear there's a saboteur in your midst. Try these tips:

Make sure you have a support group to counteract the saboteurs. If you're getting negative messages at home (or at work, or from your friends), be sure to get even more positive messages from somewhere else. A Meeting room is the best place to get this done (click here to find a Meeting).

If your friend suggests you're losing too much weight, reassure her that you are eating healthily and losing weight slowly. Show her Weight Watchers Weight Ranges if you need to. Tell her what a difference this is making to your health.

If your spouse is worried you'll lose weight and then leave him (or her), make it clear that even though you're changing the way you eat, the way you love him/her will stay the same.

Talk about it. Simply ask for help. Maybe your sister doesn't know you're really serious about this, or that her harsher words make a difference.

Recognize that this is your life. Remind yourself everyday about why you're doing this. Be your own cheerleader!

Be patient. For Melody (above), simply asking for support didn't help much. But over time, her boyfriend got used to the changes she was making, and they learned to laugh about it. "Now," she says, "he even asks me if I need to get on the Internet so I can log my POINTS into my POINTS Tracker!"

from www.weightwatchers.com